medals-of-biles

Simone Biles Ritalin Use Shows The Problem With Athletes And Drugs

In between hacking the DNC and Colin Powell, Russia decided to snoop through the World Anti-Doping Agency’s emails to dig up some dirt on U.S. athletes (the organization had recently busted Russia’s doping program). The hackers soon uncovered a big find – America’s sweetheart, gymnast Simone Biles, had a medical More »

pipeline

The Dakota Access Pipeline Shows The Media Has No Interest In Knowledge

The Obama administration issued a ruling to temporarily halt construction on the Dakota Access Pipeline. In this case temporary probably means until Obama is out of office, drinking a beer on the golf course, and watching his replacement trying to deal with it. Some parts of being the president are fun, but having to More »

epipen

The Epi-Pen Price Hike Shows America’s Healthcare System Is Broken

Mylan Pharmaceuticals is the most hated thing on the internet this week not named Trump. The drug pusher drew the media’s wrath after they rose the price of EpiPens to over $300 – a 400% increase in just four years. Even the height of Trump’s wall isn’t growing as fast as the cost More »

Simone Biles Ritalin Use Shows The Problem With Athletes And Drugs

medals-of-biles

In between hacking the DNC and Colin Powell, Russia decided to snoop through the World Anti-Doping Agency’s emails to dig up some dirt on U.S. athletes (the organization had recently busted Russia’s doping program). The hackers soon uncovered a big find – America’s sweetheart, gymnast Simone Biles, had a medical exemption to use a banned substance called methylphenidate.

While methylphenidate sounds like something Walter White would cook up, most people know it as a treatment for ADHD commonly marketed as Ritalin. Basically, Simone Biles was taking the same pills teachers that force-feed annoying kids when they’re sick of dealing with them.

The media was quick to defend Simone Biles, saying she shouldn’t suffer stigma because of her ADHD and even crying racism. But it’s important to remember that Ritalin is a real drug with real effects – specifically it yields modest yet unambiguous improvements in working memory, episodic memory, and inhibitory control. Ritalin increases performance on difficult tasks (like training for the Olympics) and boring tasks (like watching the Olympics).

While Biles may very well suffer from ADHD, America is still faced with three possibilities: (i) even with the Ritalin, Biles has below average mental concentration due to her ADHD, (ii) the Ritalin exactly balances out her ADHD, or (iii) the Ritalin more than counteracts the ADHD and gives her an advantage. Number one seems unlikely since Biles not only won gold, she won by the largest margin since 1980. It also seems unlikely that out of all the possible values, the medicine and disorder balance out exactly. It’d be like spinning the big wheel on the Price is Right and landing on a dollar 200 times in a row. Given that Biles is being heralded as the greatest gymnast ever, it’d be difficult not to not credit some of that success to her Ritalin use.

The Dakota Access Pipeline Shows The Media Has No Interest In Knowledge

pipeline

The Obama administration issued a ruling to temporarily halt construction on the Dakota Access Pipeline. In this case temporary probably means until Obama is out of office, drinking a beer on the golf course, and watching his replacement trying to deal with it. Some parts of being the president are fun, but having to side with billion dollar oil corporations over poor Native Americans on horseback is not fun, even if their claims are a bunch of buffalo chips.

For those not following the controversy, the pipeline would run some 1100 miles from North Dakota to Illinois. Pipelines make liberals angry because they carry oil, despite the fact that fossil fuels power all the tools they need in life to allow them to write angry blog posts. In their minds, the Huffington post runs on some combination of wind power, hope, and the mojo of an old Inuit woman. But in reality, they use just as much oil, natural gas, and coal as the rest of us. Pipelines are not perfect, but they are safer and more energy efficient than trucks and railways.

Stopping construction was a move Obama had to make based on the coverage of sites like Heavy.com and Buzzfeed, which featured a lot of protesters in traditional Native American garb stating that their culture is going to be destroyed. That’s why minutes after a federal judge denied the tribe’s request for an injunction, the Obama administration issued a statement stopping the work:

The Army will not authorize constructing the Dakota Access pipeline on Corps land bordering or under Lake Oahe until it can determine whether it will need to reconsider any of its previous decisions regarding the Lake Oahe site under the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA) or other federal laws.

The Epi-Pen Price Hike Shows America’s Healthcare System Is Broken

epipen

Mylan Pharmaceuticals is the most hated thing on the internet this week not named Trump. The drug pusher drew the media’s wrath after they rose the price of EpiPens to over $300 – a 400% increase in just four years. Even the height of Trump’s wall isn’t growing as fast as the cost of Epi-Pens.

But while people are understandably upset that a company is price gouging sick kids, even more jarring was the way the price hike was defended:

Mylan’s defenders note that the $609 list price of EpiPen may get all of the attention, but most consumers don’t actually pay that. Even before Mylan’s recent cost-cutting moves, the company has indicated that 80% of its prescriptions translate to $0 out-of-pocket expenses.

Just 4% of EpiPen prescriptions actually led to $600 or more in out-of-pocket expenses, according to an analysis by Evercore analyst Umer Raffat.

That defense roughly translate to: “don’t worry, sick kids aren’t paying this artificially high price, people who buy health insurance are!” And thanks to Obamacare’s individual mandate, that means everybody is getting stabbed by the Epi-Pen manufacturer.

Unfortunately, our healthcare system incentivizes charging these outrageous prices. Everyone has to buy insurance, and the drug companies are not ignorant of that fact. They also know that American kids are wusses who are not only allergic to bees, shellfish and peanuts, they are increasingly becoming allergic to bread. Bread is now a deadly weapon to like half of our youth. If the last supper occurred in 2016, at least two of the apostles would have broken out in hives after being given Jesus’s body.

France Was Right To Ban The Burkini

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A number of French beach communities have decided to ban the “burkini”, a swimsuit designed for Muslim women that covers their entire bodies like the wrapper around a fast food hamburger.

While there is an argument that this ban denies certain citizens of their right to religious expression, those arguments forget that France is a place for topless beaches full of cigarette smoking hotties with exquisite breasts.

Allowing people to run around in burkinis would fundamentally change western culture. Musicians would have to sing songs that go, “it was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie, enormous black burkini, that she wore so her husband wouldn’t honor kill her.”  
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Going to the beach is a huge pain in the ass. You have to pack up the car, drive through traffic, and find parking. But people still go because it is a fun place where they can be surrounded by other people having fun. Beachgoers want to lay in the sand and see people playing frisbee with a golden retriever, while Danny and Sandy show off, splashing around (woah woah woah!).
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But when the beach also contains a grown woman looking like a walking inner tube in order to appease the rules of her antiquated religion, it kills the “good vibrations.”

Beaches depend on tourism, and the French are Roy Scheider seeing the great brown shark ready to ruin their holiday business. They realize that if someone’s beach outfit is so enormous that it makes them look like the Goodyear blimp, complete with DHL sponsorship, then it is not a fun beach outfit. As the French Prime minister put it, the burkini is not a style choice it is a statement against the west, western values, and France:

“expressions of an archaic vision of women in public places … The burkini is not a new swimwear fashion; it’s the transmission of a political project, against society, founded notably upon the subjection of women. Some people try to portray those who wear them as victims, as though we were calling liberty into question. But there is no liberty to subjugate women.”

Critics say the burkini ban is just Islamophobia, but they are missing the point. This is not a trivial argument over who is baking a gay wedding cake. This is a stand against women living their entire lives with 95% of their bodies shielded from the world, like they are a human sleeping bag a hiker forgot to roll up into his backpack.

The ban is a statement for gender equality and a win for communities. It is said that good fences make for good neighbors, but that adage doesn’t necessarily apply when the people are wearing those fences on their faces.

A burkini is a signal to fellow beach goers that you need to cover your body like a grandmother covers her couch, because you believe every other person at the beach is a pervert. And that message just doesn’t make for a mellow day at the beach.

 

Kamau Bell’s Letter To Michael Phelps Shows The Left’s Racism

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When it comes to ridiculous Olympics statements, it is clear that CNN host W. Kamau Bell takes the gold. The comedian published an open letter asking Michael Phelps to step down as America’s Olympic flag bearer in order to let Ibtihaj Muhammad, a Muslim-American fencer who competes wearing a hijab, carry the American flag.

Bell said that Phelps already had enough glory and didn’t need another honor. Then he further justified asking Phelps to step down by invoking Donald Trump – because how could any self-respecting liberal opine on the Olympics without bringing up Trump? Democrats are like swimming sharks, if they quit criticizing Trump they die.

Of all the reasons Bell lays out for why Phelps should step down, the most striking is his claim that America has had enough “rich white men”:

No offense, but right now America has enough tall, successful, rich white guys hogging the spotlight trying to make America great … again.

GOP Leaders Backing Hillary Instead Of Gary Johnson Shows The System Is Rigged

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A growing number of Republicans are endorsing Hillary Clinton for president. Former California gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman said she was with Hillary, as did top strategists for Jeb(!) Bush and Chris Christie. In addition, a former Minnesotan Republican senator said he’d cast a vote for Hillary if it decided the election. And on Thursday, the first sitting Republican congressman, Richard Hanna, announced that he would vote for Hillary in the 2016 election.

It’s hard to blame Republicans for deserting their candidate. Trump, who claimed he would be the most presidential candidate since Lincoln, decided he too needed to preside over a civil war and set out to create one within the Republican party. His first week as nominee he got into a twitter war with a Muslim family whose son died in Iraq, which, short of stealing Jennifer Aniston’s husband, is the surest way to piss off the entirety of America.

Trump then refused to endorse Romney and McCain, which was followed by rumors that his staff was “suicidal.” Then it was leaked that Trump doesn’t understand why our foreign policy can’t just be “nuke everybody.” All this led to a huge lead for Hillary, and now it’s coming out that despite his repeated promises to stop illegal immigration, his own wife might have had a prior green card marriage.

So it’s easy to see why Republicans are abandoning ship and crossing their fingers that the man they nominated just two weeks ago calls it quits. Even Trump himself might have to cast a different vote just keep Melania in the country.

It’s Always The Most Important Election Ever, and the GOP Nominee is Always Dangerous

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If you listen to the news, it goes without saying that the upcoming November election is the most important decision in America’s history (though the Washington Post, Bloomberg, and the Nation have still felt the need to say it). On top of that, The New Yorker and Washington Post have boldly warned that a Trump presidency is a dangerous and unique threat to democracy.

And while it’s true that Donald Trump is often times an idiot who insults people for no reason, it’s also important to note that this hysteria around the election and the GOP candidate is nothing new – it happens every election. Every four years the media hypes up the importance of the election and paints the Republican nominee as Voldemort (if Voldemort also wanted to weld assault rifles onto the wheelchairs of disabled six year-olds).

Who You Gonna Call? The Speech Police

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Twitter has banned conservative voice Milo Yiannopoulos this week after a blow up he had with Ghostbusters actress Leslie Jones. Jones, who had starred in the surprisingly controversial remake, had been complaining about the racist and offensive harassment she was receiving on twitter, which led to Milo engaging her and ultimately got him kicked off the social media platform.

But while many of the tweets targeted at Jones were vile and way over line, none of them actually came from Milo. In fact, if you look at Leslie Jones’s interactions with the gay conservative writer known for his “Dangerous Faggot” college tour, they’re actually pretty tame:

What Each Candidate Has In Common With “Pokemon Go”

pokemon go

Pokemon Go has taken America by nerd-storm. The app, in which users walk around the real world trying to get to specified spots in order to catch virtual creatures, has led to unexpected-exercise for millions of millenials. Due to their inexperience with areas of the earth that aren’t their living room, Whole Foods, or artisanal macaroon shops, these pretend “Pokemon trainers” have been shot at, crashed cars, and fallen off of cliffs as they’ve ventured into the real world for the first time in decades.

Pokemon Go has become so successful that Hillary Clinton even joked that Nintendo should come up with “Pokemon Go to the Polls” (though the instructions for her version of the game would be in Spanish).

But rather than incorporating voting into Pokemon Go, let’s do one better and decide the election by whose supporters are the best Pokemon masters. It’s better than our current system – instead of having candidates fly across the country trying to capture all of the billionaire donors, let’s let the president be the person who nabs the most pocket monsters.

Here is our break of the relative strengths and weaknesses of the potential Pokemon trainers that make up each candidate’s voting base.

The FBI Made The Right Decision To Call Hillary A Criminal, But Not Charge Her As One

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The FBI came under both praise and criticism after it recommended no charges be filed against Hillary Clinton for her email scandal. Director James Comey stated during his press conference that “no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case” (though that obviously doesn’t rule out “badass” Freddie Gray prosecutor Marilyn Mosby who loves charging people without evidence).

Comey had authority to bring charges against Hillary because the attorney general had to recuse herself after a suspicious meeting with Bill Clinton on the Phoenix airport tarmac. If anyone still believes Democrats are the party of the people, that notion should be quickly dispelled by the image of a former president leaving his private jet to board the current attorney general’s private jet in order to discuss the pending criminal investigation into his wife (who is also the current front runner for president). House of Cards never showcased so much corruption, and Downton Abbey never had characters with so much privilege.

With his new found authority, Comey ultimately decided not to bring charges, but he did take the opportunity to scold Hillary. He stated that Hillary sent classified emails at the time they were classified, which she had denied doing. He stated that she deleted several thousand work emails, even though she claimed to have handed over all work-related emails. He also stated that Clinton’s lawyers did not even read the emails before determining if they were work related, instead they just skimmed the subject line. Comey even insinuated that it was likely that Clinton’s email had been hacked by a foreign government.