A Complete Guide to Racism in The Complete Guide to Hipster Racism

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Everyone’s buzzing about this shit on Jezebel this week about how white people are racist. This article is making the rounds, because white people have discovered a new way to call other people racist – and there’s nothing white people love more than being the least racist.

If GDP was measured in terms of amount of time spent not being racist, 20 somethings in Brooklyn would have driven us out of the recession long ago. Unfortunately, it’s measured in actually getting shit done – something Brooklynites are not so great at. (If people are offended by that statement, feel free to feed your dog some organic grass fed kibble, pick up his shit with your recycled paper bag, and watch it naturally biodegrade on my stoop through your plastic rimmed glasses.)

Here is an example of the racism this white person is complaining about:

4. “God, Don’t White People Suck?”
Okay, I get what you’re trying to do here—having some fun at the expense of the oppressors while setting yourself up as one of the “cool” white people—but mainly what you end up doing is implying that black people don’t like informative radio or TED talks. Stuff White People Like: having the best brains! Isn’t it great that we can make fun of ourselves while still reminding you that we’re better than you?

Hey, guess what? Some people don’t write everything in mind with the sole purpose of it being secretly racist. The people from stuff white people like were trying to be racist – against white people. Don’t you get it? People who listen to NPR and TED talks are EXHAUSTING.  It’s not that we think you’re better than us, we don’t fucking like you.

Just because you listened to an hour long broadcast on an NGO trying to build a clog manufacturing plant in Uganda doesn’t mean you’re smarter than me, it just means I’m going to have to find something to day dream about while you talk to me about how you heard this “really interesting” broadcast on clog manufacturing in Uganda.

But the worst part about this manifesto against not being racist, is this prejudiced statement:

Modern racism lives in entrenched de facto inequalities, in coded language about “work ethic” and “states’ rights,” in silent negative spaces like absence and invisibility, and in Newt Gingrich’s hair.

The irony of this statement is hysterical. Racism lives on through “states’s rights?”

This is my big problem with the left. They don’t make an effort to respond to the other side or even understand the issue. They simply brush off the opposition as dumb and racist. When they hear something like “states rights” they don’t take a step back and realize that our current government is a balance between the federal and state government – one that we’ve taken two hundred years to arrive at. For someone to suggest that we should swing that balance more towards the state doesn’t mean they’re a racist, it means they’re 1 out of 2 assuming where we wound up is in the middle.

States rights isn’t even an issue that solely benefits republicans. Perhaps the most active state in the union is California. States rights allowed them to legalize gay marriage, then ban it. It also let them create a mess where they let voters pass spending bills and then vote down tax increases – a plan too stupid for the federal government, but states’ rights allowed California to try it. States’ rights also allowed California to be a leader in both consumer and environmental protection – both somewhat forcing national compliance with the rules California enacted as a state.

As you can see with the example above with California, states’ rights have a lot to like and dislike. It’s a complicated issue, and saying that its simply code for racism is lazy, childish, and bigoted.

The author of the article should quit spending so much time worrying about whether or not things are racist, crack open a book, and learn what they actually mean.

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