Trump’s Charlottesville Statement Was Neutral To A Fault – Here Are Some Other Things Besides Nazis He Could Be Impartial About

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Donald Trump proved once again that he is the off-script president, willing to speak his mind on any topic without thinking. Trump put about as much thought into his Charlottesville response as went into the script for the Emoji movie.

While Trump is perhaps technically correct that the “alt-left” bears some responsibility for this past weekend’s violence due to the fact that they were swinging clubs and spraying the right-wing protesters with mace, he also needs to realize that in order to be the most presidential person since Lincoln, he can’t split hairs when it comes to Nazis. As Chris Matthews stated, this isn’t the time to be impartial. You can just say Nazis are evil – you don’t need to get lawyerly and preface your statement by saying that there may be a few Nazis who are good people. There’s a reason Star Wars doesn’t actually contemplate the death of innocent contractors working on the Death Star.

But since Trump did feel the need to make a bizarrely middle-of-the-road statement about Charlottesville, here are some other ill-advised, but technically correct, statements that Donald Trump could make if he feels the need to continue down this road of objectivity:

  1. Joffrey was the rightful king of Westeros. Sure, he was evil and tortured prostitutes, but it is bigoted to discredit him just because he’s an illegitimate child.
  2. Bruce Jenner is an absentee Dad. Coming out as transgender required courage, but now poor Kendall and Kylie are fatherless.
  3. Nickelback has some good songs. Hate them all you want, but you don’t become the 11th best selling band of all time unless you make people secretly sing in the shower.
  4. Stalin was pretty impressive commanding the Soviets despite being only 5’4”. Yes, he used his power to kill 20 million people, but the fact that he was able to wield such authority despite such small stature has to be an inspiration to short men everywhere.
  5. Statistically, some women probably falsely accused Bill Cosby. Most of the nearly 60 alleged victims may be telling the truth, but Cosby is probably getting a raw deal from at least one of them.

Or, rather than being ridiculously evenhanded, Trump could just do what he did over the weekend and call the KKK, neo-Nazis, and white supremacists repugnant thugs. Then, rather than debating the nature of evil like an introduction to philosophy student, Trump could issue a blanket condemnation of bigotry and go back to pushing forward the agenda he was elected to enact.

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