Bill Nye Is The Nostalgia Guy

Bill Nye Is The Nostalgia Guy

Bill Nye must be pulled from television for the sake of science. Even if you believe every word that he espouses, he is no longer an effective messenger for those beliefs. Nye is not a serious scientist. He has a bachelor’s in engineering. He spent his twenties trying to become either a comedian or an astronaut, and he failed at both. He wasn’t smart enough to make serious contributions to science, and he wasn’t talented enough to make it as a comedian. Eventually, Bill Nye completely lucked out and found his way…

Bill O’Reilly Did Not Get Fired For Calling A Temp Worker “Hot Chocolate”

Bill O’Reilly Did Not Get Fired For Calling A Temp Worker “Hot Chocolate”

Bill O’Reilly left for vacation two weeks ago, and much like your childhood dog Boxco, he never came back – his show entered that No-Spin Zone in the sky. O’Reilly’s sudden termination was surprising given that while his advertisers were fleeing, his ratings were actually up 28% – a signal by his fans that they didn’t care what (or who) the host did. At this point, conservatives have to be fearful that their pundits are being targeted. In the past few months, Milo Yiannopoulos, Tomi Lahren, and now Bill O’Reilly have been dispatched…

The Second Aaron Hernandez Trial Was A Vanity Project

The Second Aaron Hernandez Trial Was A Vanity Project

Aaron Hernandez is a brutal thug who most likely murdered someone because he was pointed at. He’s like your mother who said it was rude to point at people, except in this case instead of scolding them, he shot them in the face. Hernandez is so evil, that even when he was eating dinner with saint Tim Tebow, the nicest, most gentle soul on the planet, he ended up punching a waiter and rupturing an eardrum. Tim Tebow basically spends his time reading scripture to disabled, Syrian puppies, so if you commit assault…

Tomi Lahren’s Lawsuit Shows That Everyone Is A Libertarian Until They Get Burned

Tomi Lahren’s Lawsuit Shows That Everyone Is A Libertarian Until They Get Burned

After being fired for supporting fetus termination, Tomi Lahren is suing The Blaze for wrongful termination. Conservative Barbie had been removed from Glenn Beck’s network after they had a public falling out due to her statements on the View that she was pro choice. Many have pointed out that Lahren’s lawsuit is hypocritical, as she was outspoken against Colin Kaepernick’s protests (though in fairness she did defend his right to free speech). But what both Kaepernick and Lahren missed is that while free speech protects you from government interference, there are few restrictions preventing employers…

The New Dress Code For Flying

The New Dress Code For Flying

After barring two teenage girls from wearing leggings on their flight, United Airlines became the most hated thing on the internet last week. The airline zoomed right past white racist terrorists and congressmen selling our internet history to take the top spot on the internet ire podium. In fairness to United, the denied passengers were traveling on a “buddy pass,” which apparently allows employees’ families to fly with large discounts.  A decision to impose dress codes on these discounted travelers could be defended, if it weren’t for the fact that one of…

Trump Was Lucky That Trumpcare Failed

Trump Was Lucky That Trumpcare Failed

Having staked his reputation on his ability to negotiate and close deals, it was no doubt embarrassing for Trump to have to cut bait and pull his healthcare bill this past Friday. As the vote approached, Trump seemingly did everything he could to woo potential votes short of popping Tic Tacs and taking them furniture shopping. But while Trumpcare’s failure may be a blow to the president’s ego, it will end up helping Trump in the long run. The only thing worse than having the media calling something “Your-Name-Gate” is having them call…

The “Oxford Comma Case” Shows Judges Make Decisions Based On Politics

The “Oxford Comma Case” Shows Judges Make Decisions Based On Politics

Buzzing around the news this past week was a story of a court case that allegedly hinged on the use of an oxford comma. This type of soft news nonsense, like the hiccuping girl or the Clock Boy, makes its way around all the major news outlets like a clickbait tornado. You can tell how good a news organization’s unpaid interns are by when they pick up on the story. Smaller outlets ran the story on March 15, the Times obviously read the initial reports and ran with it the next day, and then USA…

The New Ferguson Videos Are The Emergence of Alternative Logic

The New Ferguson Videos Are The Emergence of Alternative Logic

The Ferguson riots happened so long ago that at the time of the shooting, Hillary Clinton was the assumed future president and Donald Trump was on the Celebrity Apprentice trying to figure out if Kevin Jonas or Kate Gosselin was better at selling pies. Despite the passing of two and a half years, most Americans have not changed their minds since day one – no matter what evidence emerged from the investigations. Many are still shouting “hands up, don’t shoot!”, even though Obama’s own justice department concluded that Brown did not…

The Washington Post’s Amazing Alternative Facts About Immigrants Returning to Mexico

The Washington Post’s Amazing Alternative Facts About Immigrants Returning to Mexico

After Trump’s election, it was fun to watch everyone switch issue positions as if political parties were a yoga class. Republicans suddenly became enamored with executive orders. Democrats realized that they love the CIA and want to start a cold war with Russia. There have been more flip flops in 2017 than you’d find at a frat house cookout, yet this recent Washington Post article on deportation still managed to stand out among the crowd. After years of praising illegal immigration and citing bogus economic studies which went through acrobatic contortions to conclude that…

Trump Had No Choice But To Skip The Correspondents Dinner

Trump Had No Choice But To Skip The Correspondents Dinner

Trump announced this week that he would not be attending the White House Correspondents Dinner, making him the first president to miss the event since Ronald Reagan in 1981. Reagan missed the event because someone had tried to assassinate him, while Trump is missing it because both he and the press are asses. Trump and the media need to get on better terms. It’s not professional for him to ban top news organizations from White House press briefings, and it’s not professional for news organizations to let their reporters break huge…